AUSTRALIAN NEWS HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2029
Ozone created by electric cars now killing thousands in the seventh largest country in the world, Little India , formerly known as Australia.
Awestralian astronaut Rodney Bryne now two light years away from earth want to know whaaaat..T*F*... the fishing rod in his survival kit is for!!!
White minorities still trying to have English recognised as Australia 's third language
Kookaburra plague threatens North Western Australia crops and livestock.
Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped.
Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
France pleads for global help after being taken over by Algeria .. No other country comes forward to help the beleaguered nation!
Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.
George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.
Australia Post raises price of stamps to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.
After 10-year, $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss. (other than a dose of Delhi Belly)
Average weight of an Australian drops to 115 kgs. (lots of Delhi Belly ?)
Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive year in Vicindia and New South India .
In an Amazing breakthrough, Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.
Senate still blocking drilling in Canberra even though gas is selling for 4532 Rupees per litre and gas stations are only open on Tuesdays and Fridays.
Tasmindia executes last remaining Greenie.
Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.
Average height of professional basketball players is now nine feet, seven inches.
New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters, and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2030 as lethal weapons.
Australian Tax Office sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.
Southern Asia (formerly Northern Territory ) voters still having trouble with voting machines.
St Kilda Football club was forced to change its name to Kilda/Karachi after the Federal Court upheld the decision that use of the word "Saint" was an infringement on the religious beliefs of the majority of Australians.
Favola Singh of the Carlton/Calcutta Curry Crunchers wins the Gandhi Medal.( Formerly The Brownlow )
The Brisbane/Bombay Bengal Lions defeated the Melbourne / Delhi Demons by 14 points in the AIFL grand Final
Shipping figures released today by the Government show Christmas Island is now Australia's busiest Port.
Aboriginals have lodged a land claim for New Zealand saying they always knew it was there, so they must be the traditional owners.
Meanwhile Maori's have laid land claims to "The Gold Coast", all Western Australian mines, all rugby grounds and every shearing shed in Australia.
Toyota has announced it is still reviewing the safety aspects of the latest safety claims about undersize drink holders in the console of it's Toyota Camry's.
The Vatican has announced both Bob Hawke and Gough Whitlam can expect to be canonised by the end of this year.
Competition between Qantas and Virgin Airlines has been keen this festive season, with fares to Mecca dropping to an all time low of 300,000 rupees .
As the population approaches 125 million, The Government is reviewing legislation previously enacted in 2010 for Paid Maternity leave.
It is believed that the clause making it compulsory for Indian woman to have a child annually, may be struck out.
And Democracy and Capitalism are now firmly entrenched in Afghanistan , where the new Kabul Stock Exchange and Futures Market for Heroin came on line.
Love This Country!
But The Bloody Government Scares Me